Escape of the Inner Monologue

World, inside of my head. Inside of my head, world.

I Cannen’t Wear Heels

There was a lot of talk in the news a couple months ago about the Cannes Film Festival refusing women entry because they were not wearing high heels. Evidently it is extremely important for your toes to be numb in order to properly enjoy a movie. If you have a uterus that is. If not, feel free to enjoy circulation throughout your body as you sip wine and eat crudités. I have, for a.. Read More

Things I Have (Mostly) Stopped Myself from Saying in an Elevator Full of Strangers

“You ever stop to think about which corner of the elevator you’d use as a bathroom if you got trapped in one of these things?” “You seem pretty dedicated to being the Big Spoon here.” “I am assuming you saved someone’s life this morning, and that is why you reek of sweat and week old stroganoff. Not simply because you didn’t bother to shower.” “Do you see a guy putting.. Read More