It’s been one of those times around our house. You know, the times that cause other people to wonder which deity you managed to piss off so badly. I even got sent pity flowers by my stepmom. That kind of time.

Two weeks ago on a Saturday, I came down with strep throat. I had a fever so high my doctor later chided me for not going to the ER. Tuesday afternoon, my daughter had a playground accident. She and another kid were evidently doing their best impressions of freight trains and ran full speed into each other. She bounced and landed on her elbow, fracturing it. We spent the evening in the ER (at least someone got to go). On Wednesday she developed a fever. I took her to the pediatrician who said she either had strep or a sinus infection and regardless here are some antibiotics. We went to the orthopedist on Thursday and got her cast put on. Then on Saturday, my husband started to come down with the strep throat.

And then on Sunday, the dog got into the act. And by the act I mean her ass exploded. And not in the traditional way asses explode, but rather in the way specific to dog asses, where their anal glands become infected and then rupture. I had noticed on Saturday that things were looking a little harassed in Buttland, and made a mental note to call the vet on Monday. And then BOOM went the poop and puss filled dynamite. All. Over. The. House.

Happy Mother’s Day indeed.

So she got a trip to the ER. (I was starting to feel left out.) We followed up with our vet later in the week, who recommended a laser treatment for the dog’s butt. Yes, my dog is now just like a Kardashian, having fancy laser treatments on her butthole.

At least I had the entertainment of watching my 2 year old repeatedly get her cast stuck inside the dog’s cone of shame. Together they formed a hilarious, awkward, and adorably conjoined mess.

Here’s hoping we’re all healthy and happy soon!